Loving Someone with PTSD by Aphrodite T. Matsakis

Author:Aphrodite T. Matsakis
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781608827886
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2013-11-25T16:00:00+00:00

Taking Stock

So far you’ve described the incidents leading up to your complaint, and expressed and sorted out some of your feelings about these incidents. But when you meet with your partner, you’ll need to be selective about which of these incidents you mention.

The following exercise can help you take stock of these incidents. You can then better decide which of them, or which parts of them, will most clearly show him what you’re complaining about and why there’s a need for change. You’ll also need to take stock of your own behavior during these incidents.

Exercise 4.3: Taking Stock

On a separate page in your journal, entitled “Taking Stock,” answer the following questions.

Of all the incidents you circled, those having to do with your partner, which ones are not discussable at this time?

Of the circled incidents that are discussable, which three caused you the most grief?

Review your descriptions of these three critical incidents in your letter. If you haven’t done so already, pinpoint exactly what caused you the most pain or anger during these incidents.

Looking back, can you see any ways, however small, that you might have contributed to your relationship problem during these incidents? For example, Nina realized that one reason Darnell freely canceled so many of their dates was that she had never really told him how much it upset her when he did this.

Write out the three incidents (or particular moments in these incidents) that caused you the most pain, and your feelings about them, using the positive communication skills described in chapter 3. Acknowledge anything you might have done, however small, that might have helped create the problem or made it worse.

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